Sometimes things can change

Simona Bisiani


There are days in which you feel that you're going to change your habits: doing some jogging, for example. Or going to the gym. You wake up and think that that's the perfect day to start a new activity. It seems like all the energy in the world is held in your body, your brain is more active than ever, the mood is positive.

Well, you just have to do some stuff before dedicating yourself to renovating your life.
So you eat your breakfast, and it takes a while because you know that for that day you could afford eating more food for the reason that you're going to dispose many calories later. Then you want to take a shower, because you can never know when you'll meet your cup of tea, and you don't want him to see you with dirty hair and a stinky smell of smoke that stuck on you since the previous night.
After the shower and all the rituals, including the ones for the nails, the toe nails, hair and skin, you just remember that you have to check your mail-box on the computer. And your Facebook timeline. And the Twitter one. And you have to look for that awesome song you've discovered at the party the other night. And your friend asked you to check the rail from Milan for that afternoon. And you have to call Gina because she broke with her boyfriend last night. And you urgently have to give back that book to the library, because the deadline was the week before. And there is that special movie you have never seen before on television. And you find a note left by your mom, telling that you have to buy some milk at the shop. And you've promised yourself you would have tided your room that day. And perhaps studied History.

What happens to me in these cases? I feel every single molecule of energy abandoning my body. I sit down on the sofa, I stop smiling. My day is ruined! I wish I was strong enough to say: "who cares, this is my perfect day, I won't cancel my plans because this is what I want, this is more important".
But I'm not. I would feel guilty for having ignored all the other things!
So I just don't do anything at all, incapable of reacting, feeling depressed and wasting my precious time eating chocolate. I think about that huge breakfast I had in the morning. Crap, this is going to be a free kilo, to add to the other ones I should dispose of.
I take my laptop and start watching the skinny body of models, in order to convince myself that if I want to become like them I have to stand up, wear a jumpsuit and go running.
You know what? It never worked.

But, actually, I think I've found a new method to make things turn in the right direction: writing an article, for example. Telling you my story and revealing a side of myself I usually prefer to deny. Becoming an example for all the people who feel like me. I think I'm done here. Sorry guys, my sneakers are waiting for me – they have already been waiting for too long.